Aguilera Accidentally Sings The Kazakhstan National Anthem

Before I slowly slip into a diabetic coma from this year's Superbowl diet, I would like to make some comments about the big game and the Puppy Bowl. First, I need to discuss the evolution of the spread of food on SB Sunday. When you were a child and watching the game with buddies, it was filled with apple slices, Surge, PB&Js, and Capri Suns but as you got older, the diet somehow transformed into Hoho's, bacon, and bacon wrapped Hoho's. The amount of sodium I just ingested would be comparable to that of a deer lick. So, as my body goes into shock from the 7500 mg of sodium that I just put in my face, I would like to get some words out about today's big events.

The Puppy Bowl started at 3PM and is running until 3AM and I am seriously contemplating staying up to watch the 3rd quarter for the 4th time (No, I'm not kidding). It was a well-played defensive struggle by both sides with lots of good action, big hits, cheesy product placement and minimal scoring. CB got the MVP nod and it's hard to argue with that as he put in a workman's like effort and took over the game early. My one big beef with the game was the refereeing. The Zach Braff lookalike constantly blew plays dead with questionable calls like 2 "illegal napping on the field", 1 "excessive cuteness", 2 "unpuppylike conduct", and 6 "unnecessary ruffruffruffness." Excessive cuteness? Really? Why should a puppy ever be penalized for being excessively cute? If that was the case, the ref would have thrown the flag for the entire show. And if napping was illegal, Laura would get 5 flags per day for it. The puppies should have claimed they were "resting their eyes." When I started watching the PB, there was an occasional intentional grounding for poop on the field. These calls were warranted. If a puppy shits on the field, not only should he be penalized, he/she should also be fined $15,000 and have to sit out the opening drive of the next half. He really needed to swallow his whistle and let the puppies play. I digress. The hamsters driving the blimp managed to avoid a Hindenburg disaster and the kiss cam went over well with many "awwwwwws" coming from our front room. The smooth scatting during the kiss cam was a nice touch. The kitty halftime show was easily the best 15 minutes of television I have seen since last year's kitty halftime show. I managed to avoid 95% of the Black Eyed Peas performance and I can only hope that after their abysmal performance, they spiral downwards into a web of peyote and Hypnotiq and end up on a VH1's Behind The Music. Please, BEP, DVR Murder She Wrote, Netflix Season 1 of Matlock, go back to your davenports, and call it a career. And for what it's worth, 15 minutes of kitties running around on LSD while confetti rains down and strobe lights going off would trump anything on television.

The big game was pretty good, as well. I'll admit, it started out a little shaky with Aguilera forgetting the lyrics to the national anthem. I wonder if she knows the lyrics to "Happy Birthday." After the Steelers went down 14, I thought that GB might be running away with it. They did a nice job of fighting back late in the 1st half and 3rd quarter. From what I saw, it seemed like the Packers constantly had the Steelers on their heels despite a complete absence of a running game. Starks/Jackson were completely forgotten after carrying them into the game to begin with. With that being said, Rodgers was masterful going 24-39, 304 yds, and 3 TDs with 6 dropped passes. Two of those drops could have easily went to the barn and Rodgers numbers could look much more gaudy. I think the bottom line of the game was that the younger, less experienced team managed to hold onto the ball while the wily veterans couldn't hold on to it. GB consistently made the Steelers pay for coughing it up and looked like the team that had been there before. And the commercials were pretty solid. Everyone will be talking about the Chrysler commercial tomorrow and 40% of facebook members even posted it on their wall. Love the pro-Detroit feel of it and nice to see nearly all of the filming was done within 1 mile of where I used to live (on the corner of Broken Dreams and Mangled Spirits). They did a nice job of leaving out the shank victims and miscellaneous crack heads hounding you for money. And kudos to Eminem for making up for that horriawful commercial of him pushing Brisk Iced Tea. Didn't that shit go out of style with josta?

Absolutely HATE seeing Woodson and Driver go down with injuries. If there was any 2 guys that deserved to play every snap on their side of the ball, it was these cats. Happy to see them get the rings, but I wish they could have played more. And to Woodson, tack on a SB championship to being a National Champion, a Heisman winner, 7 Pro Bowl Selections, and a Defensive MVP of the NFL. I only wish it could have culminated with a SB MVP but it wasn't in the cards. Enjoy the belt Rodgers, you earned it this year. With this win, he managed to shed the Brett Favre monkey on his back and solidified himself as one of the great NFL QBs.