Lebron To Have Colonoscopy Secondary To Mysterious Bowel Habits

The Big Lebowski: What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Dude.
The Big Lebowski: Huh?
The Dude: Uhh... I don't know sir.
The Big Lebowski: Is it being prepared to do the right thing, whatever the cost? Isn't that what makes a man?
The Dude: Hmmm... Sure, that and a pair of testicles.

Ages ago, to be a man, it took the ability to wield a longbow, to start a fire, and to wear an oak leaf over your genitals. Over time, it has transformed to being able to provide for a family, growing chest hair and a beard, and the know-how to be a handyman. Really, all qualities that I have yet to demonstrate in adulthood. What Lebron James did on Tuesday in a return trip to Cleveland was not what I would call "manly." In case you missed it, here is a video of the incident. When Queen James was questioned after the game why he skipped the intros, he blamed it on having to go to the bathroom. Yet, he managed to slither out of the locker room immediately after intros while the lights were down and the Cavs were being introduced. Every person who has ever been an athlete knows that "the pregame dump" is taken long before the gun sounds, the ball is tipped, or the opening kickoff. The "pregame" is a precious time for an athlete where they can reflect on the task at-hand and formulate a plan of attack for the upcoming event. The pregame is never rushed. Never hurried. Even if you only have to let loose a phantom deuce, you take your time, you enjoy it. Pregames were never meant to be had as your starting center is being introduced.
Now, Bron could have been doing 3 things. He could have been trying to stick it to the Cleveland fans...again, he could have been trying to cowardly avoid the inevitable barrage of boos, or he could have been taking the Browns to the Superbowl (which is something that would never happen)/growing a tail/giving birth to the sixth Cosby/pinching a loaf. I hypothesize that his answer would be that he was rubbing salt in the wounds of the fans but really I think deep down, he didn't want to hear what the fans had to say about him, about his leaving the city of Cleveland out to dry. What he did was nothing short of dastardly. And in a league full of babies, he wore the biggest diaper on this night. Add this event to Lebron saying that he doesn't know what "contraction" meant and you have a public image that is crumbling faster than a loaf of day-old Jimmy John's bread. I can only hope that LBJ finishes his career with 0 rings. And if you missed the game, Byron Scott did a nice job rallying his troops. He wrote on the locker room whiteboard, "1. Play Hard 2. Take Care of Home 3. What Do You Have To Lose/Gain?" Seems like the boys in maroon took it to heart as they came out and thumped the Heatles.
What I do know is that it takes a man to correctly pick this year's Final Four. And that is precisely what this clown did on ESPN. Incredible. I would have had better luck in my Final Four if I had picked the Wonderboys of Arkansas Tech, the Dirtbags of Cal State Long Beach, the Banana Slugs of The University of Cal/Santa Cruz and the Perkins School for the Blind. Needless to say, UConn was the only team I had in the Final Four. I can only assume your bracket is as busted as mine.
And speaking of manly men, how about this Shaka Smart character? I'll admit, I had NO idea who he was or that VCU even existed before this year's tourney. Another thing I did not know is that he turned down Yale and Harvard to attend Kenyon College, a liberal arts school in the shitbomb known as Ohio, where he finished magna cum laude with a degree in history even though the enrollment at Kenyon is 2 people. The dude is obviously smart (pun intended) and he implements a style of hoops that he calls, "havoc," which tries to get teams to deviate from their game plan. And that is exactly what they have managed to do thus far. The first full game I watched of VCU was against my horse, Kansas. Kansas began the game dumping it down low at-will and looked to take control early. Somehow, VCU managed to pull ahead for good on the backs of a 4 foot 3 inch Mexican with the ball on a string and a goofy looking 5 that can stroke the 3 a la Kevin Pittsnogle circa 2005. As the game became more and more out of reach and I was pondering changing it to something more entertaining like "Cougar Town," I was eerily drawn back to watching the ensuing meltdown that would finish off everybody's bracket for good. Shaka Smart has these kids drinking the Kool-Aid and there was even a time where he was down and moving like he was playing defense on the lackadaisical guard play of KU. His defender responded by forcing the Kansas player baseline and out-of-bounds. As the game came to a close, I found myself hopping on the VCU bandwagon wondering how long the slipper would fit. After the game, reporters tried to rile him up by asking what he thought of all the ESPN analysts who said they shouldn't have even made the tourney (cough, Jay Bilas). Smart did a masterful job shrugging it off, crediting Kansas, and commending his team's effort. Rather than get caught up and blast ESPN, he took the high road and was gracious.

Perhaps that is what being a man boils down to. Being able to take the high road in the face of a trap. Being gracious and humble in the face of a W that no one thought would happen. Being happy and proud for a chance at greatness in the face of a media full of haters rather than hiding in the shitter.

Cheers to you, VCU. You have silenced the basketball world with Ws over PAC 10, Big 10, Big 12, SEC, Big East, and ACC opponents. I can only hope you continue to play as men and finish off the Horizon League.

The Return of Arrogance

I'm thinking...Should I do it? Should I not? Should I do it? Should I not? And I'm really wrestling with myself about this. I cross the goal line and I'm like, "Hey, fuck it."
-Desmond Howard on striking the pose during The Game in 1991.

I didn't start speaking in earnest until I was three years old. My parents were very concerned for quite some time. They were actually concerned enough that they took me to the doctor to make sure I wasn't mute or autistic. When I finally started speaking it became obvious that I had just been biding my time, focusing intently on one thing: sports. I knew all the names to all the players donning the maize and blue. As I grew and started to be able to dribble the basketball I wanted to be Jalen Rose. I chose the number six for my first soccer team because I wanted to be Tyrone Wheatley (I know Tyrone Wheatley didn't play soccer so that doesn't make sense, but I was 5 years old. Give me a fucking break.) Some of my first memories are of Desmond Howard streaking to the end zone as Keith Jackson belted out "Hello Heisman!" I remember clearly jumping to my feet screaming and cheering as the Fab Five came back in East Lansing and again as Jalen went off in Champaign in front of the Orange Crush. When I attended my cousin's graduation from MSU I may have asked the entire family why I was there because, "It's not like State is a real school anyway." I may have received a well deserved beating for that little comment too. As I got older I decided I wanted to be a cornerback after watching Charles Woodson snag an impossible interception against MSU. Take a few minutes and watch all those moments and try not to smile if you're a Michigan fan. From my youngest years I was a loud and proud Michigan fan, because that's where I'm from and that's what we do.

These last few years have been rough though. There have been too many memories that will get lumped in with those not so fond childhood moments like Desmond being tripped in the end zone or Chris Webber calling timeout. Hell, these last three years have been a lifetime of terrible memories as far as Michigan fans are concerned. I've almost been glad to be in a war zone rather than Ann Arbor during our rivalry games.

I see our football team struggling. I also see what they can become. No one will ever convince me that 10 wins wasn't our floor with Rodriguez this upcoming season...and then I see a coaching change made that might make us wait awhile longer. I hear our rivals laughing and jeering. Hell, some OSU fans don't even bother with that anymore. They've resorted to pure pity for us now. And yet, we have 20+ returning starters, so how much can we really slip? (Don't answer that, especially if you're a State fan and more experienced with crushed dreams). The truth, whether you're a Hoke, Rodriguez, or rival fan, is that Michigan's football future is bright no matter who is at the helm.

This winter was expected to be even bleaker on the hardwood. But even though we have the youngest basketball team West of Kim Jong Il's pleasure squad, our boys have somehow battled back to become a tournament team. I might argue that they've become one of the most compelling teams in the nation this past month. They're talented, and they have heart, and they're fun to watch. They do dumb shit sometimes, but again...I can see the spark. I can see the future out of these guys and it's great. It's what the future of a basketball power should look like.

Meanwhile our two biggest rivals are celebrating mixed bags. Ohio State finally slipped up and is backtracking to explain why their "saint" of a football coach wouldn't tell the NCAA about obvious infractions or at least bench the players he knew were clearly ineligible. But they still have the #1 overall seed in the NCAA tournament, and they can still point to the scoreboard this past decade. We've finally managed to sweep MSU in their flagship sport for the first time since I was in junior high and the Spartan football team has completed their annual assault banquet. And yet, they can still point to the last three years, the best they've had in half a century.

Before the 2008 NFL Draft the Onion did a breakdown of Jake Long and it includ ed a bullet that said, "Went to Michigan, so he'll probably be fucking insufferable about that." I love that, because in the satire is truth. We're proud beyond reason. We wear our pride like a badge of honor like no other alums I've met do. It's not just where we went to school, it's a deep part of our identity. And it's part of the fun of being a Michigan fan and alum. Whether it's on the field, court, ice, mat, in the pool, lab, or even fucking space, bitches...we win. And yeah, we like to talk about it. Enough that national sportswriters include notes to reassure us that our team is safely in the tournament and please don't flood their inbox. Enough that our national basketball legacy has been turned into a documentary (highest rated ever) about brash, trash talking, wunderkinds who changed the entire culture of the sport. They brought swagger into it. They brought style to it. They embodied that Michigan spirit that some people, mainly members of lowly rival fanbases, like to call arrogance.

This week the Fab Five documentary was aired and it was incredible. It's been almost 20 years since those kids ignited Crisler Arena. A few things popped out from that first Duke game. Did you see the way the crowd was going nuts? Did you see how fun it was to be Michigan? To be unapologetically great? Michigan trailed by 10 at the half and judging from the ovation there wasn't a single person in Crisler that didn't seem to believe in the kids on the floor. It's something I've rarely experienced this last decade, and I want it back. I want our teams to walk out on the court or field and expect to dominate. I want opposing teams to know that no matter how good they think they are, and no matter what they'll accomplish, they'll be remembered for their games against the boys in Maize and Blue.

I've held my tongue the last three years. I haven't talked shit at all. I've been gracious in what few victories we've had, and even more so in the many defeats we've suffered. I've seen why our rivals are our rivals because when they win the talk never ends. And when they lose it's, "Wait til next year," or, "Oh, sure, you have ONE good season..." I've been mute, biding my time once again.

Tomorrow, our too-young-to-compete basketball team will step onto the court as an 8 seed, and most of the Asshats on ESPN are picking them to bow out in the first round against Tennessee. The last few years whisper to me that they're probably right, that I shouldn't get too excited or set my expectations too high. That if we, as a fanbase, get too brash, too confident, the response from every hater crawling in the AIDS swamps of East Lansing and Columbus will be deafening when we fall.

But I see the future coming friends. It's got many great moments. I see more "Hellooooo Heisman!" I see banners being raised and parades to the President's house. I see a lot of moments that are going to be really hard to be quiet about. And I see them coming soon. And knowing all this, I've been really wrestling with myself. Should I do it? Should I not? Should I do it? Should I not?

Hey, fuck it.

WE GONNA SHOCK THE WORLD!

Tough Road for Cagers/Lucky Draw for Sparty

Michigan is the #8 seed. I could bitch and moan about this a little more, but the committee thinks Michigan was good enough to win at least one game, apparently with MSU being seeded #10, they don't think much of Sparty at all. There is a tough road ahead for the Cagers, it is unlikely that Michigan beats Duke in the 2nd Round, crap, but the only other #1 seed I'd rather play is Pitt, so I'm not too upset about it. I wont be stupid enough to go around saying that Michigan is going to BEAT Duke, once again, Michigan has a CHANCE to beat Duke. The Cagers got over the hump last year, so it's not like we haven't beat Duke recently!? HOWEVER, let's stay focused on beating Rocky Top and Coach Barbecue first. This game is more than winnable, Tenn. lost to my OU Grizzlies at home, plus with MICHIGAN being the HIGHER SEED, nobody can say they don't deserve to win that game. Doug Gottlieb is a straight idiot, the only thing he got right yesterday was when he referred to State as "Kalin Lucas and the Other Dudes". Any State fan that wants to argue that point are more than welcome, unfortunately when Kalin LucASS isn't scoring 30, you aren't BEATING ANYBODY! So, I guess State fans can't really argue against that point at all, sorry Little Brother. If the Cagers somehow beat the Pearls, we will have a chance too storm Chapel Hill and try to take out Coach CryBaby and the Puke Devils. What a HUGE W it would be for Michigan's basketball program, if the Cagers make the Sweet 16 with this draw, the future of our program looks more than bright. Plus, after seeing the Fab Five doc. I can truly appreciate the struggle that Michigan Basketball has been through since that time. If I could trade those years for a couple Big 10 titles and some Elite 8s the honest way, I damn sure would. But given the way Blue has played this season, if Michigan did beat Duke, the Cagers would most likely have a let-down game, (ala UTEP @ home earlier this year), I'm just being real.

Spartans, what a gift you have been given! By far and away the easiest bracket of the tournament, it is seriously such a joke. I wouldn't be surprised to see MSU fans saying that Sparty played bad all season just to get seeded lower in the tournament, most of your fans are def. that annoying and stupid, I wouldn't put it past you. The Pac-10 is WEAK, and you probably should beat UCLA, that is if State can figure out which girlfriends our theirs and not their teammates, say hi to Lucious for me. Then, if State gets past the Whack-10, you get the most laughable #2 seed of the tournament (Florida). I was so worried that this draw would make State fans salivate, and I'm actually pissed that State has such an easy road to the Sweet 16. But then something happened that made everything about State's potential yellow brick road turn to mud. Everybody's favorite Spartan and NBA dud (ouch my foot hurts) Mateeeeeeeeeeen Cleaves ruined any shot Sparty has of doing anything in the Tourney by guaranteeing MSU makes the Final Four live on ESPN! The saddest part is, most of you Spartans actually believe it and NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY REASON TOO!!! I don't care if Vegas has you favored to win the game, you are STILL a #10 seed, and you WON'T SNEAK UP ON ANYBODY!!! I heard the word "underdog" being tossed around in the media by State players yesterday too, correct me if I'm wrong, but if you're favored to win, you can't be the underdog? If anybody has the right to the "under-dog" spot it's UCLA, I'd be pissed if Vegas took a #10 seed over my team, and because UCLA isn't FAVORED to win, the Bruins can technically play the "under-dog", even though UCLA is the higher seed. I don't know, apparently simple logic is a little much for the Green and White. Also, the underdog mentality doesn't even fly, because Sparty has never been an "underdog" team this season, Sparty has just been a bad/underperforming team THIS season. Maybe Sparty's heads got swollen after two straight trips to the Final Four? Don't get me wrong, I can still give credit where credit is due and both those teams deserve recognition, not as much the Fab Five, but at least State's banners from their Final Fours still hang, State has Michigan on that one. Spartans talk like none of these teams (UCLA, Florida) even know State exists, if State is the program ALL OF YOU SPARTANS believe it is, UCLA and Florida will be prepared, stop kidding yourselves into thinking that State has gone unnoticed. State had a terrible, terrible year, and State has been noticed, FOR BEING HOT GARBAGE! It's fans and alumni like Mateeeeeeeeeeeen, that will forever make me hate Sparty. Mike Valenti on 97.1 The Ticket here in Michigan wants Blue and Green to unite, I don't know Mike......if opinions of a TERRIBLE Spartan team like this are the norm, I seriously just don't know.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, tell Izzo to stop drumming up media stories that aren't there. Your team has been Kalin Lucas and the other dudes all SEASON, quit being stupid enough to deny it. Quit trying to rub two sticks together in a tornado to get a fire lit under your team Tom, you disgust me! State whooped up on Purdont, and then promptly mailed it in (as State has all season after a big W) against Penn State. As I finish my first piece, I just saw Mr. Gottlieb taking State into the Sweet 16, if that doesn't speak to the weakness of the bracket, I don't know what does. I'm just praying State lays an egg in the tournament, because a TRUE SPARTAN would know that you don't deserve IT!

GO BLUE!!!!!!

Mr. SoLo DoLo

Jim Tressel and Ohio $tate's dirty secrets

If you haven't heard, Jim Tressel was tipped off about potential NCAA infractions committed by Deviar Posey, Terrelle Pryor in April of 2010 by a Columbus attorney and former Ohio State football player. The problem with this is that Tressel feigned ignorance when these infractions were revealed prior to the Sugar Bowl. Once the nefarious email was uncovered, Ohio State slapped Tressel on the wrist with a two game suspension, a $250,000 fine, and some other restrictions in his permissible activities. , I don't think the Tressel family will be eating Ramen Noodles for Thanksgiving next year , seeing as how Tressel's salary is $3 million a season. As for the two game suspension, I'm fairly certain that the second string Ohio State players and assistant head coach can beat Toledo and Eastern Michigan. That renders the "punishments"to Tressel utterly useless. The lack of punishment handed down isn't the real issue, however, but rather the shock at the fact that a perceived man of integrity such as Jim Tressel would conceal infractions that may have made his star quarterback and wideout ineligible. Tressel has certainly maintained the public image of an upstanding and pious citizen, but his past actions are anything but upstanding.

Prior to arriving Ohio State, Jim Tressel was the head coach and athletic director at Division I-AA powerhouse Youngstown State. He won four national titles as a head coach during his time at Youngstown State. What is rarely reported on is the incident involving star quarterback Ray Issac, Youngstown State booster, Mickey Monus, and Jim Tressel. By all accounts, Tressel introduced his star quarterback to Monus, a pharmacy chain tycoon. Monus then lavished Issacs with thousands of dollars in cash, cars, and other illegal benefits. A farcical "internal" investigation occurred in which Tressel denied everything and the university basically covered everything up.

A year after this incident, Tressel was hired at Ohio State. Since becoming head coach, Ohio State has been an bonafide college football powerhouse winning 7 Big Ten titles, going 9-1 against Michigan(grr), playing in three national title games, and of course stealing the 2002 national title from Miami. However, his resume has not been spotless. The Maurice Clarett saga uncovered some of the shady business going on in Columbus. Clarett talked of grade fixing, impermissible benefits, and other no-no's. He also mentioned that many of these misdeeds were occurring with full knowledge of the coaches or at least Tressel. Now we have the evidence that he was tipped off by an Ohio State alum about benefits that would have landed the players on the ineligible list( Ask A.J. Green about what selling your jersey to an agent gets you) and concealed them while those same players played key roles in leading the Buckeyes to another Big Ten title. The aforementioned evidence is very damning as to the lack of character exhibited by Tressel. This is all coming out of the biggest athletic program in America. Ohio State has massively successful sports programs, and they are highly profitable, yet in both basketball and football they have a seedy history of cheating. Look up how the Jim O'Brien era ended in Ohio State, or the Cris Carter agent scandal from the 1980's. These are all huge infractions and when things constantly come up decade after decade it goes to show you that maybe the Buckeyes are dirtier than the rest.

One Shining Moment: Bandwagon Sports Fans Blindly Set Tourney Brackets

As I sit here and ponder why Thad Matta's nose is so flat, I can't help but think how exciting this time of the year is. March and April offer so much. March Madness, the NBA/NHL season winding down, spring baseball and opening day, and the NFL draft. The weather begins to change and we crack open our first Oberon of the season. It reminds me a lot of the excitement in the air when the leaves begin to change in September and the Gameday crew gives their opinions on the upcoming football season. March and September evoke copious amounts of nostalgia for me.

I, in no way, claim to be an NCAA basketball guru. I am actually the anti-Jay Bilas. But when the calendar changes from February to March, I find myself glued to the television and looking up meaningless articles on Bracketology in an attempt to make an educated decision on who will win the whole thing. What other time of year do you get a phone call from your mother asking you to fill out her bracket? I remember skipping class in undergrad to watch games in the basement on the League Underground in Ann Arbor while eating spicy chickens from Wendy's and screaming at the TV. First things first, I believe UM has done enough to make the dance even though they are 0-50 against ranked opponents. They did a nice job against these teams but have minimal quality W's against the big boys. That being said, I see them as a 10 seed with a nice chance to knock off whoever they play. But who will win the whole thing? I have no clue. Kansas looks deep enough to do it, Texas plays a lot of defense, Duke will always be in contention, and OSU, if their bigs can stay out of foul trouble, will have a decent shot.

What I do know is that we all revert back to childhood in the face of these great tourney games. We laugh, we clap, we cheer, and we get uber pissed when your dark horse upset special gets bounced on a buzzer beater. I have written off filling out a bracket at least 10 times, but when March comes, I am the first dummy trying to predict the champ. Allow me to give 2 other examples of grown men becoming little boys during big games.

1) June 2, 2010. Galarraga on the hill. Mark Grudzielanek (who?) smokes a ball into center field that Austin Jackson somehow tracks down on the warning track. He covered more ground on that play than Maggs, Damon, and Rayburn covered in the whole 2010 season. OOOOH Jackson! Watch the video and see the guys in the dugout go ape shit. You never see this kind of happiness and excitement in pro sports anymore. I was watching the game in my apartment in Detroit and erupted off the couch with goosebumps on my arms when I saw it.

2) November 6, 2010. UM vs. Illinois. Massive shootout if you remember. Scheelhaase and the Illini continue to dial up the same play on offense and our defense seems to not be getting the point. Bootleg right, throw back across the field to the RB who has leaked out of the backfield. 3 times they ran it and 3 times the back was wide open for big gains. The last time they ran it, even I saw it coming. I shot off the futon (yea, I'm a grown-up who owns a futon) and screamed obscenities at the defense and in my time of distress, I sharted (which UrbanDictionary defines as "a small, unintended defecation that occurs when one relaxes the anal sphincter to fart"). Make no mistake, I had not intended to perform this act, but I was so worked up about the play that I lost bowel function. That is reverting back to childhood in it's purest form.

Now, as we all watch the selection show, I eagerly await UM's ticket like a giddy schoolboy. I can't wait to see all of the first round action and am even contemplating skipping work to see them. Always remember, there is no shame in acting like a little kid during big games. Unless you accidentally shart. Pro sports needs a little bit more of this and a little less complaining about making 20 million dollars per year. Happy March, friends!

One more thing: This is awesome.

mamba fever

Kobe Bryant

A stud on the basketball court. A highly unlikable guy off of it.

But who cares, right?

The guy is the arguably the best competitor in the four major sports. He is certainly one of the most successful.

7 Finals appearances, 5 championships

13 All-Star appearances, 4 MVPs

12-time All-NBA first team

10-time All-NBA defensive team

Gold Medal winner, league MVP, 4^th in all-time playoff scoring, 6^th in all-time regular season scoring, second most points scored in a game (81), and so on.

The guy will go down as one of the best basketball players in the history of the game. And that wouldn’t change if he quit tomorrow.

Yet, for all his accolades, he continues to have his doubters.

Take the other night for example…

Lakers – Heat

In a back and forth, playoff intensity fueled game, Kobe attempted to do what he has done so many times in his career; win the game for his team.

On this occasion he failed.

In the last 3 minutes of the game Kobe preceded to be stripped of the ball by Dwayne Wade for the go-ahead bucket, turn the ball over under the Miami hoop, and miss a wild, 30-foot three-pointer.

Damage done. Heat win.

Shortly after the game, some articles on ESPN started popping up suggesting that Kobe Bryant was hurting his team down the stretch. Saying he forces too many difficult shots, doesn’t look for the open teammate, didn’t take time to find a better scoring opportunity near the end of the game, etc.

In case you were questioning his decisions down the stretch as well, please refer back up the page to his laundry list of accolades.

The guy knows how to win.

Just about better than anybody else in league history.

Period.

Would Los Angeles even be in that game if it weren’t for Kobe getting them to a tie game with 3 minutes to go?

No.

Would Los Angeles even be a relevant TV draw against another star studded team, like the Heat, without Kobe?

Probably not.

Would Kobe have had this much success if he cared about the possibility of failure every time he took a daring chance at winning?

Certainly not.

I think these guys know what they are doing.

I think Phil Jackson, winner of 11 NBA titles, knows how to manage his star.

I think the owners of one of the leagues most successful franchises, knows how to build a winning team.

And I think Kobe, the star in a league of supremely talented stars, who has proven to be better than the rest of them at the end of the season, 5 times, knows what he’s doing.

And this is why media members, fans and “ESPN basketball experts” drive me nuts.

Who are we to really judge?

The players are the ones who make it happen.

They are the entertainers.

They are the music makers that we pay to see.

Without them, there is nothing to talk about. Maybe that is why there is always criticism – because it makes more interesting TV and allows the 24/7 sports feed to stay plugged in. But what value is there really in hours of talk shows dedicated to the lack of chemistry on a Heat team or the selfishness and bad decision making of Kobe Bryant?

The reality is we are collective drops in a bucket of meaningless commentary with no consequence on the game at hand.

It’s easy to sit at a desk, and draw up a reason for a team or player’s failure, but it is another thing to live it and actually overcome it. Let’s give these guys a little more credit; they didn’t simply fall into success, or have it handed to them.

After the game, Kobe did something fairly rare by going back out onto the visitor’s court, and had an impromptu post-game shoot-around. When asked about it afterward by media members he basically said he was sorting some things out and working on some of his “pet shots” that weren’t falling for him during the game. He also stole a great quote and said,

“I want what most men want, I just want it more.”

The guy is 32, has cemented his legacy, and is still bothered enough by a game-gone-bad to work on his jumper after the contest?

Unbelievable.

I think we forgot just how impressive these individuals are.

Sometimes the human element is taken out of it and we expect them to be locks for an allotment of fantasy basketball statistics. It’s as if we see them as characters in video games -guys who are rated a “98” in scoring, and therefore should make the majority of their shots every night and put up 30 in their sleep. Never mind illness, family issues, depression, loss of desire, aches and pains. They are basketball robots and are expected to produce. While we sit back on the couch and blog or talk to our buddies about them, they are currently pouring sweat in the gym, not eating pizza at 3am, studying film and doing everything they can to do what we expect them to.

Now, here’s what makes Kobe so impressive.

He has accomplished what he has in the world’s best basketball league, constantly going up against players who are also supremely talented and also work exceptionally hard. Every basketball player on the planet knows who Kobe Bryant is and when they play him, give their absolute best effort to shut him down.

It must be exhausting to be a measuring stick.

Now go and be one for more than a decade.

Kobe has done it and has done it his way.

So when there is displeasure over the type of guy Kobe is off the court, how cordial of a teammate he is, or even his performance on the court and the internet, fans, talk show hosts and ESPN personalities grab hold and create a whirlwind of debate, does it really matter?

No.

Because Kobe will be shooting in a gym, and we will be watching, talking.

Ryan Mallett Slower Than A Combine

Really, Mallett?

5.37 seconds in the 40 and 26" vertical leap...

Shall we begin comparing him to Bledsoe now?

My High School Highlight Video

This kid is 5'11" and has over a 50 inch vertical...incredible...

Jacob Tucker

Heat Lose Fourth Straight, Earth Stops Spinning On Its Axis, Laws of Physics Cease To Exist, Grown Men Cry

So the Miami Heat have lost 4 games in a row. The team clearly has serious chemistry issues, as they routinely lose close games and throw away leads, especially against good teams. I understand frustration over losing; I am also extremely competitive. However, there are reports that players were crying in the locker room after their latest loss to the Chicago Bulls yesterday. This is completely ridiculous. The Heat are in a 4 game losing streak that has caused them to plummet ALLLLLLLLLLL the way down to THIRD place in the East. Still only 2 losses behind the Bulls in the standings. It's an 82 game season. Losing 4 in a row is hardly a big deal. It hasn't knocked them out of the playoff picture or even knocked them out of home court for the first round of the playoffs. However, this story is all over the news like it is some apocalyptic omen, as if the Heat going on an extended losing streak somehow is forecasting the downfall of humanity. How childish are these idiots? They are getting paid millions of dollars to play basketball for a living and they are weeping after a regular season loss in the beginning of March. This team is so mentally weak it makes me sick. After the sobbing subsided long enough for interviews, Wade had the audacity to continue pouting in his press conference saying: "this is what the whole world wanted, for us to lose". Well if it wasn't before it certainly is now. The thing everyone hates about the Heat is their self-serving sense of arrogant entitlement. They honestly believe they deserve to win a championship because instead of doing things the hard way and earning a ring, they just all joined forces on one team so that none of them ever really have to carry the squad. They just plan to let the others pick up slack when they aren't playing well (or hard). This experiment is going to backfire in a bad way I hope. It looks like Lebron might be the best 'first three quarters' player in history. The guy is an absolute bum down the stretch of close games, and I love it. If they lose a 5th game in a row there might be a mass suicide. Every single time I see a story about the NBA it makes me hate the NBA more and more. This is just the latest of gigantic athletic men acting like infants.